I’m not one to act as if I am not overwhelmed at times. Sometimes the dog barking is a little too much, other times its the baby trying to crawl into my skin that has me ready to scream, and other times its the fact that my house is always a mess. There are days where I just want to sit down and just breathe without being needed or bothered by anyone. Do I find motherhood overwhelming, no, its adulthood in general that is overwhelming for me. People before me set a standard of adulthood that I am supposed to somehow figure out how to manage. As an able bodied adult, I am expected to work, cook, clean, and perform a role as a well adjusted adult. But lets be honest, there are days when all of this shit is just too much.
As we speak, I have half folded laundry on the bed, a load in the washer, and a load in the dryer. I still have boxes in the dining room that I have yet to unpack because I have a child who needs me and a disabled parent, who also needs me. There’s laundry in the bathroom that needs to go in the washer, but that involves me getting the laundry I didn’t put away, yet, put away. I also have some stuff to move into the bedrooms from the garage and my daughters outgrown clothes that I need to sort and give to my sister. THEN I have bills to pay, content to create, a blog post to edit, and work that I have to do so I can get paid. But there’s a curly headed ginger, with cheerios on my floor, and singing the wheels on the bus who needs me to be present with her. She needs me to step away from all that needs to be done to meet her needs. Her needs for attention, touch, nourishment, and rest. She looks to me to meet all her needs. Of course, I’d rather be with her than to do any of the other stuff. But if I don’t do any of the other stuff, bills don’t get paid, the dishes will pile up, and the clutter will just take over. Then I realize that even if I take all day to clean 2 areas of my 2100 square foot house, I still will have something to do, and it will never truly be done because my job as the breadwinner will need me first.
It didn’t take me long to identify my overwhelm when it came to motherhood, the overwhelm comes from not having an effective system that I can consistently implement. I’m huge on systems structures and routines. For the past 5 months I have been in survival mode. I have not been truly living the way that I should be. I have dealt with some difficult situations, unjust consequences, and have been doing my best to be present and loving for my family. I hate that most days I am very short, I’m angry, and I’m tired. I just want to get things done. I’m used to completing my tasks in one go and doing it well. I’m not used to taking breaks and not completing things. But that is the reality of my life now and it stresses me the fuck out.
Knowing that I am solution oriented, I have to come up with effective systems to make my life a little less chaotic. So I sat down and drafted a schedule for me to get things done after I take 3 days to complete my biggest tasks.
Day 1
Unpack last box in home office
Toss any unnecessary papers
Find my cord to my printer
Move anything that belongs in the bedrooms to the bedrooms
Clear off the “stair pile”
Day 2
Wash the pile of out grown baby clothes
Put the outgrown baby clothes away
Move the toys we want in the bedroom to the bedroom
Finish putting up the decor in the baby’s room
Clean up and organize the playroom
Day 3
Clean off kitchen island
Declutter the kitchen
Empty the last 3 boxes in the dining room
Move anything that belongs upstairs upstairs.
Install all of the baby gates.
My biggest area of disarray that bothers me is the organization and appearance of my home. I hate clutter.
I am the only person in my home who cleans, so I will be hiring help to clean my house once a week. But until I find someone that I trust enough to clean my home we are going to adhere to the following schedule
Monday – Mop & Mirrors
Tuesday – Toilets, Tubs & Tables
Wednesday – Wipe down & Wash
Thursday – Put it away & Yard waste
Friday – Floors Only
After doing the 3 day lock in and getting what needed to be done and allowing myself the entire day to complete the task. I finally felt like I was accomplishing things. I like to do the hard stuff first and the easy stuff last, so that was the method. Once I was able to get those pressing items done I committed myself to completing the schedule for 21 days to not just build the habit but to ensure that I was doing what would work for me.
Now that my house is not looking like a tornado hit an episode of hoarders, I have some peace and I am much happier.
As soon as I took a sigh of relief and typed this, the baby has dumped out a bag of blocks and ran into the living room to watch Ms. Rachel.
But I am finally not feeling so overwhelmed because I have found my system and have been sticking to it for the past 2 months.