So you saw how my pregnancy went right? Let me tell you, my baby’s birth was a wild ride.
Grab your snacks, something to drink, and get comfy.
I had already been in labor for 5 days. So at this point, my induction was going to just help move this kid along. She was head down and expected to be a minimum of 8 lbs. Yeah…I was hurting. Originally, I was scheduled for a 3 am call time, but there were no beds. So I was on standby, they called me at 5 and said to come by 7:30. I ended up driving myself to my induction because my grandmother, didn’t do her due diligence, and have her shit packed. So I’m fuming, cussing everyone out, contracting, and driving myself an hour away in pre-rush hour traffic. I get to the hospital, I park valet, and I marched…well waddled my ass into Labor & Delivery. Because I am the most organized person in my family and I was there 4 days prior, I did my pre-registration. I became friends with another mom who had a boy a few hours after my baby was born, her mom was so sweet! She checked in with me through text until my mom and grandmother arrived.
When I got called back I changed, my contractions became intense, I ordered myself a burger, and began the medication. Miss Girl was not behaving at all, she kept kicking off the monitor. I was itching like hell. But I was told that since I was now in labor for real, the medicine would speed things along. It took like 2 doses for my contractions to come closer together, I was not dilating rapidly, so we stopped for a while, I walked, I bounced on the ball, and I did whatever I could to move this kid down. It was all in vain. When they did my check I was still 3 cm dilated, so they started the pitocin. All I can say about that experience is that I felt every single contraction in my ass. Oh. My. Lord. I chatted with my godkids and let them know that the baby was going to be here soon. It didn’t take long before something wasn’t right. My baby’s heart rate dipped. They stopped the pitocin and let me rest a bit. After being finger banged by every nurse and doctor, I was still 3 cm. My OB decided to break my water, eww…it was the grossest feeling ever. I am still contracting but they are not painful. I was given the 3rd dose of the dilation medicine and that’s when things started to kick up a bit. I got my epidural, which only took on the left side of my body, and I went to sleep. Omg the nap I took was immaculate. They woke me up for another exam, I’m finally 4 CM. We start the pitocin again around 6 am. I was doing well, I was numb, and taking good naps. Then around 9 am, my baby’s heart rate dipped dangerously low. The ptiocin was stopped and I was sent to the OR for an emergency c-section.
Here I am crying, naked, and numb on the operating table. I could smell my flesh burning, and tugging on my right side. I was numb from the chin down essentially but this was a weird feeling. I felt like an open tote bag that was being rummaged through. The medicine made me super sleepy, I was trying my hardest to stay awake. Then the moment finally happened, I heard my baby cry. “Look Nancy, she has red hair and she’s got to be at least 8.5 pounds!”. When they took her to the scale 9lbs even. My baby was 9lbs even and 19.44 inches long. I don’t really remember what happened during the time they put me back together. Fun fact: My baby smiled at me when she saw me for the first time. I thought it was sweet they played the happy birthday song for her. It really was a birthday party. When I finally got to hold my daughter I remember thinking “holy shit this is going to go by fast”. The reason why I never dilated beyond 4 cm, was because she was sunny side up. I also found out that my pelvis is very narrow, its like puberty skipped that part of my body. So no matter what I did, she was going to be a c-section baby regardless.
My pregnancy was hell and I didn’t have the birth I wanted. It was a blow, it was a devastating blow. The baby I loved and wanted so badly didn’t come to me in a way that I imagined she would. I was happy to have her of course, but my body….my poor body. I was a human pin cushion for over 40 weeks, now I have been carved up like a holiday ham, and I am expected to be able to care for my baby? As chowder would say “and nothing can go wrong…OH NO IT ALL WENT WRONG”. Since my pregnancy and birth didn’t go as planned, I was determined to breastfeed. And I did, we are still going at nearly 1.5 years and will wean when she is ready.
Do you know what happened to me when I got back to my recovery room? I drank some water and vomited. I remember screaming for my Mom (like wtf was she going to do in that moment). That was the final time I vomited and I have not vomited in my life since the day I gave birth. I did have some HG symptoms postpartum, I was very nauseated and had no appetite. I would say that it took a good 2 months for me to be able to eat consistently.
I have made peace with my birth story. It took a while but I did.